If you’re in a relationship that you think might not be as healthy and safe as it should be, ask yourself these questions:

“Does my partner…

• Hit, shove, slap, kick, punch, or choke me?
• Threaten to hurt or kill me?
• Call me names or tell me that I’m crazy?
• Criticize things I do and say, or criticize how I look?
• Hurt my pets or destroy things special to me?
• Blame me for the abuse he or she commits?
• Limit where I can go, what I can do, and who I can talk to?
• Unexpectedly check up on me at my workplace, school, or elsewhere?
• Force me to have sex against my will?
• Apologize and tell me it will never happen again (even though it already has?”)

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship. We can help.

Your health involves the whole you, from your body to your mind to your spirit. Domestic violence puts you at risk of serious physical injury. But did you know that the chronic stress of an abusive relationship can also cause physical damage? People experiencing domestic violence often have a wide range of physical and mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, headaches, abdominal pain, and chronic pain.

Where to get help
If you think you’re being abused or may be abusing someone else, you can get help by talking to your personal physician or by connecting with one of the following resources:

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 1-800-787-3224 (TTY for the hearing/speech impaired) ndvh.org

Kaiser Permanente resources:

• Domestic violence Web site Go online to kp.org/domesticviolence
• Kaiser Permanente Health Encyclopedia Visit our Web site at kp.org to learn about a variety of health topics, including domestic violence.

Local area resources—24-hour hotlines

Alameda County
A Safe Place (510) 536-7233 SAVE (510) 794-6055 Tri-Valley Haven for Women 1-800-884-8119
Contra Costa County
STAND! Against Domestic Violence 1-888-215-5555
Fresno County
Marjaree Mason Center 1-800-640-0333
Marin County
Marin Abused Women’s Services (415) 924-6616
Napa County
Napa Emergency Women’s Services (707) 255-6397
Placer County
Placer Women’s Crisis Line 1-800-575-5352
Sacramento County
Women Escaping a Violent Environment (WEAVE) 1-866-920-2952
San Francisco County
WOMAN, Inc. 1-877-384-3578
Community United Against Violence (415) 333-4357 (For the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community)
San Joaquin County
Women’s Center of San Joaquin County (209) 465-4878
San Mateo County
Community Overcoming Relationship Abuse (CORA) 1-800-300-1080
Santa Clara County
Next Door (408) 279-2962 Support Network for Battered Women 1-800-572-2782
La Isla Pacifica/Community Solutions (408) 842-7138
Solano County
SafeQuest Solano (707) 557-6600
Sonoma County
YWCA Women’s Emergency Shelter (707) 546-1234
Stanislaus County
Haven Women’s Center (209) 524-4331
Yolo County
Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence Center (530) 662-1133 hat hurts you hurt