A tribute to my Mom….

We take many things in life for granted. I am as guilty as the next. But then come moments when reality hits you squarely in the face. The event for me is seeing my mother aging very quickly and reaching that point in her life when it is not much fun. Many people will tend to tell you that this process is tougher for the caregivers and family than it is for the person who is going through the inevitable process of aging. I’m not sure that is always the case as I am watching this and reacting to it with mixed emotions.

Mom is in her 85th year of life. She was born ‘Charlotte’ in 1921 at her parents home in Springfield, Illinois. Her dad was a physician surgeon and because of a bad flu epidemic felt it was safer for her to enter life in her own home. Little did he know that he was going to die of a severe infection when Mom was only 5 months old. Her Mom, my grandmother Jesse, raised both Charlotte and her older sister Bertha as a single parent for her entire life. She raised them well, as Mom learned to be inquisitive, independent in thought and action, honest, active and instilled with the virtues which took her generation through the Great Depression as well as World War II. She was a good student as well as socially very active in her young adult years. In fact, my Aunt Burr still talks about their sisterhood antics and rivalries. She was in her junior year at the University of Illinois when she first met my Dad. They didn’t hit it off at first. He thought she was a pretentious city girl and she considered him a country hick. All the romancing, or lack thereof was put aside as World War II unfolded, but they kept in touch with each other writing letters and sharing their experiences, hopes and dreams during those years. Mom tried to enter the WACS, but was rejected due to her being way too nearsighted. She worked and waited and hoped to have Dad come home alive from the Pacific theater. They were wed after the War in Springfield, Illinois and soon moved to Ann Arbor Michigan where Dad entered the University of Michigan Law School.

Once Dad was out of law school, they moved to a small town in central Illinois where Dad opened his law practice and they started their family. Mom made the decision to end her career as a journalist and devote her life to raising her family and taking care of her man. I don’t think she had any regrets, and I certainly will be forever grateful for that decision as she was the best mom ever. Looking back at my childhood, I have memories of a home filled with laughter, good food, music and a family who always sat down together for every meal. She always wanted to give us every opportunity, so she offered her time and efforts to scouting, 4H, room mother duties, Sunday school teaching and countless trips back and forth to Peoria so that her kids could experience things we did not have in our small town.

Education was very important to Mom. I remember her constant reminder to us that ‘an education is one thing no one can ever take away from you’. She encouraged us to be curious, to take chances and explore opportunities as they arose. Quite simply it is because of my mother I am a physician today. Although she didn’t really know her father due to his untimely death, she adored him and always spoke highly of his talents, his devotion to patients and his commitment to the profession.

Our family spent summer vacations on Lake Michigan. Mom was always in heaven when she could be at her cottage: ‘Charlotte’s Web’.. Days were idyllic with leisurely breakfasts, playing tennis, afternoons at the beach, long walks along the beach, day trips to explore artists galleries along the coast, going to farmer’s markets, large dinner gatherings, building fires in the fireplace, playing board games and card games, and reading books until the wee hours. The best books always were passed along and were severely dog eared by the end of the summer. It was always a sad day when we had to close ‘The Web’ down for the summer and head back home to prepare for the new school year. One of our favorite meals of the day was breakfast at ‘The Web’. What made it so special was that none of had to rush to work or to school, so we had even more time to talk, plan our day and enjoy the cool early morning air as well as some of Mom’s Heath Bar Coffee Cake along with fresh orange juice, eggs, and all the wonderful seasonal fruit of Michigan.

Mom walked the Earth with a gentle step and a smile on her face. She always could see the bright side of every event and because of that had a serenity and an unshakeable trust about the outcome of every event in life. She stopped to smell the roses and taught each of us to see the beauty in each day and to always find the good points in every person we met in our lives. She was impossibly and totally devoted to my father and was his unwavering support throughout his life. Maybe a bit too much in that way, but it was her generation who were taught to ‘stand by your man’. She was truly the wind beneath his wings and ours as well.

Well, here’s to you Mom. I hope to continue to lead my life so that you will always be proud of me and know that I am always doing my best, that I am loved and happy with life. Even as you near the end of life, you are approaching it with the same calm serenity and confidence that you have shown your entire life. Know you are loved and the memories will all be sweet ones. You raised us well and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for always being there for us through all these years. You are the best.

*************************** Sadly, Mom passed away on Sunday, May 21, 2006. Her entire family was able to gather at her bedside after receiving the call informing us of her turn for the worse. She recognized all of us and rallied for a few days, allowing us to spend a memorable Mother's Day with her. For that we will always be grateful. Thankfully she never was in any pain and passed away in her sleep.

Mom was intelligent, funny and cheerful; truly one the most optimistic people anyone has ever known. While we mourn her loss, we carry her spirit within us and dedicate our lives to seeing the bright side of each day.