Understanding and Controlling Your Anger
Everyone gets angry from time to time. Anger isn’t “good” or “bad” and you should not feel ashamed or embarrassed about expressing it. The key is to recognize what’s beneath the anger and express it in a more appropriate and healthy way. Understanding anger and practicing new responses to conflict and stress can make a big difference in your life.
Why Do You Feel So Angry?
Anger can become a habit that you use automatically to reduce feelings of stress and physical tension. It is a response you may have learned very early in life to help you cope with pain, to overcome feelings of hurt and helplessness, or to get people to pay attention to your needs. Most of us know what causes us to feel angry. Triggers for anger include problems at work or school, time pressures, traffic jams, financial concerns, and relationship conflicts. Angry outbursts or expressions may temporarily make you feel more powerful and in control but usually have long-term negative consequences both physically and emotionally.
What happens when you express anger inappropriately?
Despite the popular belief that suppressing anger is bad for you, “blowing off steam” may be worse. When you get angry, your body launches a “stress response” to prepare for danger. Adrenaline and other chemicals enter your bloodstream, your heart pumps faster, blood flows more quickly throughout your body, and your muscles get tense. This stress response is good if you are truly in a dangerous situation that may cause you serious harm or death. Fortunately, you rarely experience such situations in your life. Continuous feelings of anger that evoke the body’s stress response can increase blood pressure and, in turn, lead to heart disease and other health problems, such as back pain and ulcers.
In addition to increasing health risks, anger can affect your relationships with others costing you a great deal in terms of how you feel about yourself. When you use anger to feel powerful or in control, the people around you will usually feel resentful and may avoid you to escape your angry behavior. This may lead to isolation, depression, and addictive behaviors, such as drug and alcohol abuse.

